If you want to get a widow offended, just mention the words Death, Divorce, Is Like, Compare, and/or Similar in the same sentence. Be prepared to "put on the gloves".
The following article (link) was published Nov. 22, 2010.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-lamar/divorce-is-like-death-wit_b_781025.html
Please don’t forget to read the Comments after reading this Michelle Lamar’s inexperienced opinion. When reviewing the Comments, keep in mind that they were limited to 250 words max. The following, here on my blog, is my original 436 word response to Ms. Lamar................
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Have you even lost someone close to you to death? How dare you compare divorce with death! A “close second”? Do you compare the Bronze winner to the person that came in 4th?
When death is involved, the couple still had happy plans for the future. When divorce is involved, if ‘happy plans’ was still in mind, then that spouse was not facing reality. Wake up!! There were “clues” ahead of time.
Divorce comes in many different conditions….1. Mutual understanding from the start of separation. 2. A civil final situation. 3. One abandons the other. 4. A hostile final situation.
Death of a spouse comes…..1. suddenly by natural causes. 2. Suddenly by accident (including suicide & murder) 3. Slowly by terminal illness.
If death is sudden (and also sometimes in terminal illness – because one is hoping for a miracle), very likely there has been no preparation for the surviving spouse’s living arrangements, financial needs, location of important information/papers, or care for small children. “Sudden” can vary from a fraction of a second to a few weeks; therefore there is no ample time for preparation. In divorce, if the divorcing couple is “man enough” to not act like spoiled 2 year olds, then many, many arrangements and information can be gained either before or AFTER the signing of papers.
Will the deceased have the opportunity (if he so chooses) to still have a relationship with their children, parents, brothers/sisters, GRANDchildren? NO! Michelle, at least you DID put that in your opening statement. But it is by two grown adults CHOOSING if he is “dead to you”. I did not CHOOSE to become a widow.
A “friendly” divorce IS possible. A “friendly” death is not. Death is final. There can be no hope in any shape, form, or fashion to change the final outcome of death.
Support & Ritual? Did it not take 2 people (including yourself) to make your original wedding vows? Admit it, YOU made a mistake in getting married to that man. As far as rituals go, I’m sure some of your friends would not object in throwing you a “divorce PARTY”.
Next time, Michelle, write about something that you have firsthand experience on. You are not the first or last person to go thru divorce. I am not the first or last women that changed from being an active wife one minute, to an alone widow the next. I have been a widow for over 4 years now. What will be your attitude 4 years after your divorce? I’m adjusting to the best of my ability because “LIFE GOES ON”.
(comments to this blog are welcomed)
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