I WANT

This has been the hardest post to find the words I want to use.

My husband, of nearly 31 years, died suddenly last weekend.  He was only in his mid-fifties.

I want to express what a superb husband, father, and son he was.  I want to convey how he thought his grandchildren "hung the moon".  I want to describe every characteristic which made him so wonderful, even the irritating ones too.  I want to tell you how many, many friends he had and how each friend fulfilled his joy for living.  I want to describe how much he loved to fish and hunt.  Fish for any kind of species.  Hunt during any type of weather, any location, and for practically any kind of animal.  How he tried to pass the satisfaction of a "good and safe hunt" and conservation on to our youth.  I want to brag how he never gave in to various illnesses or aches & pains over the years.

I have recently started remembering all the family members, dear friends, and his pets that have passed on before him.  I know that he is now with them all.  They are likely having one gigantic fish fry.  These thoughts give me both contentment and loneliness at the same time.

I want to celebrate his life.  I want his business to thrive in his absence.  I want to be thankful for the years we had together.  I want to tell him that he didn't have to pamper and spoil me the many ways that he did.  I want to look in his face and tell him "I love you".  I want him to hold me in his arms again.

Comments

[jerry and merle]

cindy, we are so sorry that [your husband] had to leave his family and friends. He will be greatly missed by all of us. He was a very good friend to us and we will never forget him. he has helped us tremendously. We will never forget him. We just hope we can help you all if you ever need us. our prayers are with each and every one of you all.We will never forget him. Love you all,jerry and merle

[karla]

cindy i loved your tribute to your husband, he was a very good man and the most wonderful boss.i am always going to miss him.he was not only a boss but a great friend,and like you i want to tell him, i know he left me in good hands with you being my new boss and i am really looking forward to getting to know you better and working with you,we can and will make his buisness work. we are gonna have some really great times also. so please be happy and take care of yourself,and the
good lord will help us all through this i promise.i just noticed that i have not used any caps in my writing so please excuse me. love you lots,karla

[Renee]

I am praying for you and your family. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

[Mrs. Bluebird]

Cindy,

What a beautiful post. I read your comment on my blog about my student Philipp and wanted to thank you for that. My prayers for you, your family, and your husband. Thank you.

[Starr]

Cindy--I am truly sorry for your loss. We have kept you in our prayers. You will never know how much I have enjoyed working with you. I am going to miss you very much and the great stories we share. Please promise to keep in touch and may you have the best retirement possible with those precious twins. God Bless!---Starr

[Vicki]

Cindy,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray God's comfort and strength will see you through until time eases the pain. May God bless and keep you.

[Amy]

Cindy, I am terribly sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. I hope you find peace in knowing he is with his loved ones who have gone before him. May you continue to see his influence of his character in your children and grandchildren.

[Donna]

I am so sorry for your loss. I will remember you in my prayers.

[Janna]

Cindy, my prayers are with you through this time. As Tracy said, keep writing through it.

[Mary P]

Oh, my dear. Your last line has me crying.

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you the comfort of the love of friends and family, and comfort in the hope that you will meet him again, some day.

My prayers are with you.

[Jennifer]

Cindy- Thanks for visitting my site and the link in your blogroll. I am so sorry to read of the unexpected loss of your dear husband. His legacy will live on through your stories of him. God bless you!

[Ann]

Amen to Tracys comment. I couldn't have said it any better.

[Tracy]

What a beautiful tribute! Cindy I encourage you to continue writing as a way to express your grief, your anger and your joy in the coming days. There is comfort in knowing that this is not the end for your husband but his glorious beginning. You and the girls remain in my constant prayers.